One of those weeks
I should just have stayed in bed after Shabbat. I thought yesterday was bad but today managed to be worse. If tomorrow continues this trend I am just going to climb back into bed and stay there til next week.
So my Internet connection went down. At 7 a.m. when I got up to begin frantically finishing the syllabi that needed to be sent off it was already down. This meant I could not work on the syllabi nor send them anywhere. I figured it was the regular hot modem problem and so unplugged it for awhile while I had coffee, fed cats, and then called to pay my electric bill. I was so impressed with myself that this time it only took me 15 minutes to figure out the phone menu and then explain what I needed to do and do it b'ivrit. This happy feeling did not last long.
The internet was well and truely down and so I began the process of figuring out what was wrong. I tried all the standard things and quickly discovered I needed to call someone. The question was just who was at fault --Bezeq with whom I have the phone service or 012 with with whom I have the Internet service. I started with Bezeq. It took me much longer to make my way through their menu, get a person, get put on hold ...and then get disconnected. Twice. Finally I reached someone who kept on the line with me. Of course they spoke no english. My techie hebrew is practically nil but after about an hour of us trying different things he tells me that nu, it is obviously 012s problem. So on to 012. 012 has an english menu and I nearly fainted with happiness to reach someone who could talk tech b'englit. Only they couldn't really. After trying a bunch of different things he passed me off to another helper who was truely awesome and spoke fantastic english. But, we discovered, another hour later that it appeared the problem was at Bezeq.
Hadn't I been there before?! So back to Bezeq. This time I got a guy who definitely spoke no english and who quickly informed me that "Well, Aya, it doesn't work because your service has been disconnected." WHAT? Why has it been disconnected and it's Yael. "Well, Aya, you owe us 1307 shekels and so we disconnected you." Wait, wait, wait. I am on the automated payment plan. I am also not Aya. I am Yael. I should owe you zip. He re-checks things. You started your service in January ...no I started in November. He hmmms and then says that Aya somebody or another requested the automated payments to stop and so they stopped many months ago and I now owe them a wad of cash. It is a good thing I was calling on the cell or I would have strangled myself on the phone cord in frustration. I won't go into the bitching I did at that point. I can say that frustration or no my hebrew degenerates as exhaustion kicks in and I did not bitch nearly as effectively as I would have liked. The upshot is that Aya's phone number and mine are a digit off or something and so when she called they applied accidentally to my account. So ok, I owe the money. Great I can break the payments over a period of 6 months. Happiness is. I whip out the brand new "you can make tashlomim payments on this puppy" card that I just picked up yesterday at the bank and give him the info. I set it up so I am also back on automated payments as well. Great yes? BUT ...now you have to call 012 because since we disconnected you they have to do something also to reconnect you. Ahhhhhhhh.
012 it again. They check. Something is still not right over at Bezeq. Super kewl 012 guy #2 keeps me on the line and calls Bezeq and talks to girl who speaks no english. He translates back that my card has rejected the payments. How can my card have rejected the payments? It is brand new! It hasn't had a chance to hit its limit which is 4000 sheks above the cost of this wad of cash that was supposed to go on it. She then calls the card company but they won't tell her why they are denying it. So, nearly in tears at this point, I say fine put it all on the "take me directly out of the account right now in one lump" card. She does. Then he does something on his end and I am theoretically good to go. In fact, I check and we are up and running.
I leap into the shower and take 5 minutes to get ready and then run out of the house to go and meet with Andrew from Ireland with whom I am supposed to meet at 1. It is 12:30 and, save the 5 minute shower, I had been on the phone since 8 a.m. I still have to hit the bank first for cash (ha, like there is any left --sad thing to be in your overdraft on day 3 of the month) and to find out what is up with this card. I run in and there is someone with the woman who gave me the card and another woman waiting. the woman waiting sees me hovering and notes that she is next. I am Israeli now. I smile, shrug and say "I just have a quick question, they gave me a card earlier and it doesn't work." Then before the woman can do anything and as the guy is starting to get his things together I wave the card and plead "it doesn't work!" Of course I'm instructed to sit down ahead the other woman who complains but is waved away. YES. We attempt to call Bezeq to see if we can get the payment changed to this card as she sits and listens but she accidentally calls the electric company. We discover this after sitting there listening to the instructions to please have savlanut (patience) for 5 minutes. I was hmm I paid them today too. Then she gets bezeq but unfortunately I don't have the bill with the phone number on it. We hang up. I am to come back tomorrow with the bill and we will go through this again and find out what is up with the card.
I meet with Andrew, rush to another meeting right after, come home and...no Internet. 45 minutes later we discover that somebody noted that the first payment had not gone through and disconnected me not realizing that it had already been paid...dear g-d, give me savlanut or a very large stick.
Between then and now I have been frantically working on the syllabi and ignoring the 14 calls from students who are no doubt pissed off that I haven't sent them any of the things I said I would send them (data analyses, comments on proposals, comments on life in general, you name it and they wanted it and I stupidly told them all they'd have it by today). Well, ahem. They can just get some savlanut themselves.