Kitty air raid siren drills
Before reading further, you are instructed not to laugh. Got that? No laughing allowed, or at least, not aloud.
Now that it seems like there is the distinct possibility that Tel Aviv is going to be hit with rockets, I am taking things much more seriously. Granted, when this war first started and Nasrallah was threatening to send rockets careening into Tel Aviv I was a bit panicky. Ooo la, said I to myself, this is like, maybe bad. So I went out and got waters and all kinds of other things our va'ad bayit told me to go get. Then, when no rockets were hitting toward the center of the country I got a bit complacent. Naaa, I thought, won't happen. Then Haifa got it and it suddenly seemed a much more real possibility. Still, now that Haifa has become a regular target (all hell is breaking lose in Haifa at the moment from rockets and a lot of people are in a shape somewhere between dead and seriously injured under rubble of collapsed buildings) it seemed a lot more, uhhhh yeah. When even folks like the laid-back and take-it-in-stride cool and sabra-like Lisa start thinking that yeah it is most likely going to happen...
So I've been doing the only sensible thing a girl with 5 cats can do: siren drills. Siren drills for cats. (Believe me, there will be pictures hopefully tomorrow because this has to be documented). While we get a 1 minute warning, the cats only get 15 seconds because otherwise I won't get down those stairs in time. So the cats have got to be in tip-top-training shape. They are in the kitty army now. You've heard about the Golani Brigade? They are in the more ferocious Chatulim Brigade.
I've got 4 of them obeying the routine but, alas, they are still taking 20 seconds to do it. Buffy is, however, a refusenik. She has been trying to claim conscientious objector status. I'm having none of it. So, here is what we do with the kitty drill:
The two big cat carriers are stacked one atop the other by the door with their doors open and ready for entry. A tupperware container with food and an unopened can of tuna sits atop that. Pretend siren sounds and I sprint from wherever in the apartment I happen to be when I decide it is kitty drill time. Grab tupperware in one hand, tuna can in the other, knee the top carrier so it falls to the floor while simultaneously prying the top off the tupperware container with my teeth. Throw food through the door of one carrier and then through the other. Arie and Gingi (the babies) are with the program. Even before those kibbles start bouncing around in the carrier they are streaking inside. Matan, slightly slower follows them into the same carrier. I have to be quick now because if I hesitate Matan will change his mind and decide the food is tastier in the other carrier. Slam door and lock; three in position. Mischa runs up and meows but doesn't want to enter the carrier. But he does want food. show Mischa the tuna can. The conscientious objector leaps to the table just behind me at this point because she also wants tuna. Lower can to draw Mischa closer, grab the fat cat with other and shove him in the carrier. Slam door. He begins to eat kibbles. Pivot and grab the conscientious object who objects loudly. Drop tuna can, open door, shove the refusnik into jail, lock. Open door, grab carriers and ...we haven't practiced going down the stairs and we won't until it is the real deal or none of them will ever get in those carriers again, heh.
They all then get a tuna treat in the carriers to reinforce "nice carrier, good carrier, tasty food in the carrier..." mentality.
Gotta shave off those 5 seconds...
(And lest you think I'm completely crazy I've at least got good company: Noorster just im'd me to say she was about to post about siren drills with her kitten :)