Kaboom!! Blam! Pow!
Yes, the roommate and I had it out. Majorly. I will preface this little tale by stating that I won. Unequivocably. Hands down. He retreated in defeat and I do mean retreat --as in get your crud outta here. And it is going with him along with it.
This is how the shakedown happened:
I woke up this morning and he was already gone. Still nothing packed at all. Not a single box. I started stressing and grousing and decided to call a friend of mine who is a lawyer to see what my legal options are (can I put his stuff on the street and change the locks?). Left a message but he was not at home. Then Michelle started looking up the legal information online and we were not happy with what we were seeing. Basically, it looked to us like it could take not only several weeks but perhaps even several _months_ before he could be forced from the apartment. I was seriously starting to panick.
Then I had the brilliant idea (if I do say so myself) of calling my slum landlord and asking him if he knew what legal options I have if my roommate refused to move out on Monday. Weeeelllllllll. Bill the landlord answered my somewhat frantic question about what to do with a refusing-to-leave roommate by saying, "Aylam called me earlier this week and told me he is your boyfriend and that he wants to continue the lease after you leave." I was like WHAT? First, where does he get off telling someone he is my boyfriend (hey I may not be able to pick 'em but at least I pick 'em a damn sight better than that!). And second if he can afford to pay 3 times what he is currently paying then he could certainly have afforded to pay his full share of the rent all these months not to mention a full half (rather than a 1/3rd) of the electric and only 1/8th of the dsl. My personal feeling is that he was planning to tell Bill he would take on the lease in September but use this month to find a place and at the last minute tell the slumlord he'd changed his mind. But I also think (and have been thinking for about the last month and a bit) that he has a lot more financial resources than he's let on as well.
I set Bill straight about the boyfriend bit and said, this is interesting because I've been telling him he needed to move out since April and gave him until June 15th. Then because he had an "emergency" (found out it was a well-planned 2 week vacation only after the fact) that he had to go home for I had extended his exodus date until Aug 1st, with a very firm (as in daily reminder) _you must be out out out_ by then at the latest. I also told Bill that he had physically threatened me not long ago when I demanded that he pay on the bills again and gave him only a tiny bit of history on the guy. Bill was like, "really? And he's not your boyfriend?" No way Jose!
So Bill said to tell him to get the hell out and to be out within 48 hours and that if he called him (Bill) he'd tell him the same and that I was fully within my legal rights to do so. He further said that if I had any problems at all, even an inkling of one with the roommate over this, to call him and he'd have the police over to forcibly remove him within 15 minutes. The man may not have doors fixed and so forth but he was highly incensed that a guy could act like this toward a girl. I'll forgive him for the broken door.
Minutes after I hung up, Aylam came home and I asked him what time he would be moving out so that I could plan to be here to supervise the cats. He then smugly informed me that he wasn't moving and that he had talked to Bill and was going to take over the lease in September but would be glad to pay me the 1/3rd of the rent for August as usual or not but he was staying. I said, excuse me, but no. You are going to be out on the 1st. Period, the end. If you want to take over the lease in September fine, move back in then but you are moving out now. That _I'd_ talked to Bill and that he had to be out.
You can imagine the scene that followed. He tried every manipulative argument he could (oh you can see how hard I've tried to find a place, I'm working my ass off and can't find one. Just look at these reams of papers showing all the places I've looked --yes, in the last one week and nothing prior to that, I pointed out. I also pointed out he _had_ found places but they didn't come up to his standards. "But I can't take that one place, it had low ceilings and I'm claustrophobic" --WHAT??! I swear to G-d I nearly fell over laughing at that one). "I can't afford anything that is out there" (so how to you expect to take over a lease that is 3x what you are paying now?), that he has to work fulltime and is in a play that opens in just one month (poor baby, not my problem. You had plenty of time and plenty of warning).
I pointed out that he has had since April to find a place and he was like, "but you can't start looking for a place in April to rent for August!" Yes, quite true, I agreed, but you were supposed to be finding a place for JUNE. He kept saying, why are you suddenly being so mean, and "I know you are not a greedy person, why are acting like this," (after I pointed out that he has stiffed me repeatedly and I wanted him out and that he wasn't going to jeopardize my deposit). He offered to pay me, suddenly and immediately, half the electric and a full half of the rent for the whole summer --hmm, so how do you have this money available all of a sudden? He tried to guilt me by saying how could I do this after his parents had been so nice to me and so on and so on.
I was like, look Buddy, when you threatened to harm me you passed the point of no return and then some as far as my being nice or sympathetic or anything else. Get the hell out.
I think if Michelle and my friend Chanel had not been here (lucky they were) he would have become physically violent (and hence I would not have confronted him without having either Bill or the cops here waiting). But since they were, he controlled himself with difficulty.
I gave him the final ultimatum and then said come on girls, we're going out. We left in such a rush I didn't even brush my hair and it was a rat's nest. I figured he would call Bill before we hit the bottom of the stairs and so waited 15 minutes before I called Bill myself. I was right, Bill said Aylam had called and tried to weasel his way into staying despite not even being on the lease and Bill had told him to be OUT.
The girls kept saying, My G-d, you were so mean you were awesome! Our little Katie really stood up for herself and didn't back down a bit! Michelle had stood right next to me the whole time I was listening to his bullsh*t and responding but didn't say a word. She said she was there ready to jump in and jump all over him if I looked like I needed back-up but that there was so no need. I was shaking all over from the adrenalin rush when we finally sat down in a restaurant.
We stayed away until just a little while ago and when we got home we saw that he has been packing like mad with sealed boxes piled high. YES. Good riddence.